Sorry I've not posted in a while... I know I left you all hanging. Just as I was about to hunker down into the most intense part of the story, the bottom fell out of my life - again. I just had to stop writing for a while. You will understand.
Just when things started to move toward hope again, my marriage to Scott abruptly ended. Right after St. Patrick's Day, in the midst of a minor argument, he said that he had been researching online how to divorce me. Out of the blue. Boom. Splat. Confused? Shocked? Yeah... me too.
After more than a month of practically no contact on his part, not even coming home, he finally informed me that he was not coming back at all. Ever. No explanation, no apology, total cut and run, right between the birthdays. (Cameron's and mine) How's that for timing?
Believe me, I'll be writing about this later on the blog, as it is now part of the story. Right now I am on antidepressants and sleeping pills for the first time in my life, and I have to totally change my life's trajectory. No easy task, given the last two years. I am also seeing a therapist. I hope she can help me make sense of all this. Right now it's beyond me.
Oh, I am utterly exhausted. But I am a survivor. I have survived my childhood, obesity, cancer, other failed relationships (though no failure as spectacular as this), and the unconscionable death of my beautiful boy.
Though it's hard not to, I refuse to be a victim here. I don't pretend to understand Scott's mentality. He has not explained anything to me. Was there someone else? Was he freaked out about moving away from the Midwest and his parents? I guess we will never know, so I can't really dwell on it.
I am still moving forward with my life, my move, and eventually I will be fine. I keep repeating to myself, "hey, I'm the original comeback kid." I'm kind of tired of being that. How many times can a person bounce before they break? I'm not broken yet.
Once I figure out what to do next and how, I will continue writing the story. I thank you all for your support, your compassion and your wisdom.
Peace out,
Henry
